Messages from the self

How could i have done this to myself. Trusting all others above myself, rejecting myself for so long, not trusting myself, not loving myself, hating myself. I weep for myself, for my loving self that's never left me. For my patient self that waited and waited until i realised that the only person I was looking for was myself. The only wisdom i ever needed to trust was my own. It's been here all along and i have looked the other way, I have rejected myself.

How did i get to this, how did i get to reject myself so. Does it really matter to find out. Do i want to judge anyone, anything. I'm done judging. I'm done hating, I'm done hurting, I'm done regretting, I'm done wishing what i need to do is to forgive, forgive the me that left home a long time ago and wondered so far away that coming home was no longer an option. The me that trusted all the golden castles far away from home. The me that was too scared to come back and face reality. The me that was too ashamed to come back and face me. How do you go back home when you've rejected home because you thought out there was better. You begin by forgiving. You don't look for why you left in the first place. You left because you needed to leave. You left because home was painful, but you always knew you'd come back. You always knew you'd come back when all was said and done. You needed to do the work, the journey and now you can come home. Come home to the bossom of your love, your own love and acceptance. There's nothing left to fear, nothing. You are welcome back. You are forgiven. You are loved. You've always been loved. It's time to stop searching. It's time to come home and rest. It's time to trust yourself for whatever you where looking for was never out there. It's never been out there. It's been in here, in you all along.

Don't cry for lost time. Don't cry for what might have been. You've been exactly where you've needed to have been. You've done exactly what you've needed to do. You've met the people you needed to meet. You've felt the feelings you needed to feel. Now forgive! Forgive yourself, forgive others. Forgive everything, then love, love yourself, love others, love everything, then wait!! wait patiently, trusting, doing nothing, thinking nothing, just wait...